Scabies

I'm getting bitten by Molly's scabies bugs! It itches like crazy.

Scabies are mites that crawl over your body, find a crease in your skin and burrow into you. They will lay eggs, die, then the eggs will hatch in 3 -4 days, and all the little baby mites will crawl over your body, find other creases and burrow into your skin repeating the cycle exponentially. Gross? Yeah. Itchy.

Molly was covered in the bites. The bites can also infect, causing the lesions that were oozing pus and blood when I first met her. Most of the children at the orphanage have bites and lesions on their bodies.

The first line of defence we use is a pharmaceutical called Nix. It's a topical cream we can get in Canada, but not in Vietnam. You cover yourself and your baby with it - head to toe - leave it on overnight, and it suffocates the mites in the burrows stopping the cycle.

I tried to use Nix on Molly the first day I had her is Saigon. She started screaming and writhing and pulling at her skin. I couldn't put her through any more discomfort, so I washed it off of her. The doctor told me later that some children occasionally have a bad reaction to it.

However, I had bathed Molly at the orphanage a few days earlier with a homeopathic solution my naturopathic doctor had given me. When I took Molly in for her follow up appointment, the doctor agreed that the homeopathic solution had been effective. The only new bites she had gotten were on her face - the only place I didn't treat.

When I had to take Molly back to the orphanage, I continued to bathe her in the solution every day or two. I can see that it is doing the job, but it isn't a repellant. Molly is still getting bitten everyday, and I am crying every day at the mess of bites all over her defenceless little body. Then I scratch at my own bites and cry some more. After 6 weeks, I'm starting to run low on the Soverlome treatment, so will have to arrange for someone from home to bring me more.

The best solution is to get both of us out of the orphanage every day! Send good wishes that it happens soon.

Still Stuck in Ba Ria (April 20)

Hello from Southern Vietnam! Molly and I are still stuck in Ba Ria with no internet access and no idea when the police will come out to complete the follow-up investigation. It's been 41 days of waiting now.

Molly is wonderful! She has 4 teeth now, and drools and chews on everything except the teething ring I brought for her. She is standing and can move sideways along furniture if she hangs on, but she hasn't started bending her knees to take steps. And her hair is getting long, but I don't want to cut it yet - the bangs are just about long enough to put in the pink bows!

I will get caught up on all our adventures as soon as things change here...

Love to all

Two For One Deal?

I have fallen in love with the youngest little peanut at the orphanage! He is about 3 months old, and has the widest gummy grin I have ever seen. And big bright eyes. He smiles at me all the time, even when he's peeing all over my lap.

I asked Loan if I could get a 2 for 1 deal, and take this little guy home with me and Molly. She said NO! There are other parents waiting for his proposal.

I know it will break my heart, but I continue to care for him - Molly in one arm, and him in the other. I can only hope that he gets proposed to a family in Vancouver.

Stuck in Ba Ria (March 11 - ???)

So, what should have taken an estimated 4-5 days had lasted over two weeks and I'm still waiting. The police have not yet come out to the orphanage to complete the investigation. And there is nothing anybody can do to speed things up.

Molly and I continue to show up at the orphanage every day by 7am, spend the day there, and return to our hotel room about 6pm. This schedule is not Molly's. I have to wake her up in the mornings, which I find really hard to do. In the first week, I also had to torture her to get the antibiotics down her throat. And irritate her when she was sleeping by putting drops in her ear. But the evenings are better. We get some really nice quality time together before she falls asleep for the night. Her personality is blooming, and she's a really great kid.

Loan arranged a driver for me to get back and forth between the hotel and the orphanage. His name is Quy (pronounced "Whee"), and he is a 21 year old young man who grew up at the orphanage. He still lives there, and drives the children to and from school. The orphanage has a van and a car. So Quy and I have become good friends - he picks us up in the mornings, drives us back in the evenings, then he has often gone out to buy me something to eat for dinner.

The orphanage feeds me lunch too. They started offering me simple meals of rice with stewed meat and vegetables. The food is very good. I would say it is the best Vietnamese food I've tasted yet. They either have the best chef in the country, or Vietnamese cuisine is really yummy.

Being in the orphanage everyday is both exhausting and wonderful. I have quickly gotten attached to all the kids - the babies in the baby room, and the older children who live there.

I'm really fortunate to have this opportunity to learn about how Molly has been living, and get to know the nannies who have cared for her since she was found at the front gate. The nannies are all caring, loving women who work incredibly hard. My only real criticism is that there are only 2 nannies on shift to care for 20 babies. A third nanny comes in for a few hours every afternoon. It's just not enough.

There is a routine everyday, but my time is spent playing on the floor with Molly and the other kids, changing wet bottoms, feeding the younger babies who can't hold a bottle, and comforting any baby that is crying. It took me a bit of time to work into it, but I'm kind of like another nanny now. Or, maybe I shouldn't go that far. These women can bathe, dry, dress and feed 3 children in the time it takes me to dry one off and dress it!

They have taught me how to care for Molly better. They have shown me how to put her to sleep, how to feed her, and how to make her laugh. They show lots of love for all the children. I have videos of nannies singing lullabies while rocking the cribs at nap-time. They insist that I go down for my nap whenever Molly falls asleep, and they will tend to her if she wakes up before I do. They have taken very good care of me too.

In my first week, two families arrived from Ontario to adopt their daughters. In the day or two before the families arrived, the nannies spent extra time with the two girls. They indicated to me that they love the children, and feel sad to say goodbye. On the day that the girls went home with their new families, I ended up crying! I had gotten to know these kids, gotten attached, and was sad to say goodbye. One family I had been in touch with previously - I know I'll be able to follow her as she grows up. The other family took my email with a promise to keep in touch and send pictures.

Another little girl was picked up in my second week - again, I got all teary when I said goodbye to her. She is a little beauty. Before I knew her Vietnamese name, I called her Lily-Rose, because that's what she looked like - a beautiful flower!

There are two little boys here whose parents I know in Vancouver. I've spent a lot of time with each of them. I had the honor to sit down with one of them, and show him pictures of his family, and give him a toy that him Mom and Dad sent for him. He is an adorable, easy-going little guy. He would crawl over to me when I wasn't paying attention and start playing with my toes. One day he started to climb on me - he grabbed my arm and started sucking on it, then bit me! Later, when I was inspecting the bruise he left, I picked off a little bit of dried snot. I'll tell him this story when he's older! His parents arrived about a week ago - more about them later.

The other little boy is a wonderful little character. He runs around with his posse - two other toddlers, and gets them all into trouble. He can be a real little monkey, but I also feel he is an old soul in his very young body. I have lots of fun with him - he's the kind of kid that I can swing upside down, toss in the air, play airplane, then crash him into the ground. He's got a great little chuckle. He sometimes catches my eye, then just smiles at me - it warms my heart. He's going to give his mom some challenges to keep up with him, but I know she will nurture his spirit. And teach him some fashion sense. The first time I saw him, he was wearing fuzzy pink bloomers!

These two guys, plus Quan, will be the closest relationships Molly will have for brothers. It's great to think that they will all grow up knowing each other in Vancouver.

There's Something About Molly

• She has one tooth
• She has the cutest smile - it melts my heart
• She sleeps with her eyes partially open. FREAKY! I can watch them roll around in her head as she drifts off.
• She has the loudest wail! I think she is the loudest kid in the baby room.
• She can 'swim' across the floor on her belly, but can't crawl. None of the kids crawl. She can sit up now - a little unsteady. She can pull herself up to standing, but doesn't walk yet.
• She will sit on my lap at the orphanage, then 'swim' away. When she realizes she isn't touching me, she will lay where she is and wail until I go pick her up. She won't 'swim' back to me
• She is ready for bed when she wipes at her eyes, and starts to wiggle, toss and turn. Then I put a bottle in her mouth, and she's asleep in seconds.
• She sleeps until 8am! Yayyyy!
• She loves watermelon
• She coos, sings, talks and clucks her tongue
• She smiles and takes my breath away

Biker Baby

Now Molly and I were alone together in Ba Ria. The first couple of days were really hard. It started with getting a taxi to the orphanage. It seems that the taxi drivers are not aware there is an orphanage in their town. The hotel family would call a taxi for me, talk to the driver for a while - there was some nodding of heads - then we would drive around for a long time. Finally, after asking a couple on the street, we would be around the corner from the orphanage. I had trouble recognizing anything until we were on the same block.

The first night, there was a mis-communication with the orphanage staff. I had dropped Molly off, then went to settle into the hotel. When I went back to pick Molly up to take her back to the hotel with me for the night, the nannies chased me to the gate and stopped me! So I phoned Loan to sort it all out. But she didn't answer! I tried explaining that I would be back in the morning and she needed medicine, but it was hard to get the message across. I phoned Loan about 26 times. I sat and cried. Finally, I was walking Molly back to the baby room, resigned to leave her there for the night and solve the problem the next day. Then Loan called me back! Problem solved, and we were on our way.

The morning came early. Molly slept well, but I spent most of the night staring at her, making sure she was still breathing, and waking up every time she stirred. I also got up at 5am, to make sure we were ready to be back before 7am.

It was a long and exhausting day for me. I was in the baby room holding Molly most of the day. She quickly became very attached to me, and would wail if I put her down. I only had freedom when she napped, or if a nanny held her. The nannies took a nap after lunch, but I wasn't completely aware of the schedule, so I held Molly and tried to keep the other babies quiet.

There were 19 kids in the room when we first arrived. 3 of them were handicapped, and the other 16 were babies under 2 (including Molly). Four kids were toddlers - they could walk and get out of the cribs by themselves. All the other kids were younger, but the youngest is about 3 months. There are no newborns at this time. Loan said that they all had parents in Canada waiting for them, with the exception of one little boy. His file is complicated, so he is available for domestic adoption only.

Within a day or two, a new little girl with hydrocephalus was brought in. She is a bit older, but she will be fed, washed and have her diapers changed by the nannies in the baby room, as there are no other resources available in the orphanage for these older kids that cannot care for themselves.

I took a walk during the day, and found a coffee shop right across the street! After a wonderful Vietnamese iced coffee, I wandered further up the block and found a restaurant. It wasn't a place I should have eaten, but I had no other choices. I pointed to a big pot of steamed rice and asked for 1 dish (mot dia). I was given a bowl of greens in broth, a dipping sauce, and then a huge plate of rice topped with bean spouts, cabbage and cucumber, plus some shrimps and a piece of meat. I picked up the meat with my chopsticks and tried to ask if it was beef or pork, but the ladies couldn't understand me, so I set it aside. They took it away and brought me more shrimp plus some braised tofu! I guess they thought I was vegetarian. Anyways, it was a very delicious meal, it cost about 65 cents, and I didn't get sick afterwards. I found a fruit stand on the way back, and also a store to buy water. But walking a block or two in the blazing sun with 85% humidity was all I could take. I went back to the baby room to rest.

At the end of the day, Molly was falling asleep, and I had another taxi come to take us back to the hotel. I put her down, and was trapped in the room with no dinner, and no breakfast for the next morning. The lunch I had earlier was my only meal of the day plus some bananas I bought at the fruit stand. I repacked the diaper bag, got clothes ready for both of us for the next morning, and went to sleep on the mattress beside my daughter.

The next day, Loan and her boyfriend came out to Ba Ria to take care of me. We were at the orphanage when they drove in on a motorcycle. Loan suggested they take me out for dinner, and she arranged for us to use the orphanage's car, driven by Quy (pronounced 'Whee'), a young man who grew up and still lived at the orphanage. He is the driver who takes the children back and forth to school. The four of us had a wonderful seafood meal, my second meal that day! Quy dropped Molly and I off at the hotel that evening, and Loan and her boyfriend followed on the motorbike. They took a room in the same hotel for the night.

The next morning, Loan took Molly and I back to the orphanage - ON THE BACK OF HER MOTORBIKE!

I took my baby for a ride on the back of a motorbike - deal with it! She's Vietnamese.

The Best Laid Plans (Saigon - March 8 - 11)

With the help of all my wonderful friends here - both new and old - I took Molly back to Saigon on Monday afternoon. We moved back in with Susan, Quan and Uncle Howard at the Somerset. We kicked Uncle Howard out of his bedroom, and made him sleep on the bed in the livingroom. It's a great bed - in the middle of all the action - all those midnight, 2am, 4am and 6am feedings for both babies. Of course, we had to take wailing babies right past him on the way to the kitchen to make up the bottles. Of course, the two babies had separate schedules - we never woke Uncle Howard up at the same time! He was a great sport about it.

Molly saw the Doctor the next morning, and got a bunch of pharmaceuticals prescribed to deal with all her issues. The doctor found an ear infection in addition to the scabies bites, but ruled out a concussion from the bump on her head.

We had two whole days together, with Molly showing signs of recovery, and me administering the multiple doses of drugs and lots and lots of love. Then I got a call telling me I had to rush her back to the orphanage!

My adoption file had been sent back to the local police for more investigation, and Molly had to be in the orphanage for the police to do their job! It was absolutely heart-breaking to see her starting to recover, and think about taking her back where she would be bitten all over again. However, I realized that Molly was not legally my daughter yet - she still belonged to the orphanage, and was with me only with the Director's blessing. Plus, I didn't want to do anything that would cause any trouble with the completion of my adoption, so I made plans to take her back the next day.

We first had a follow-up doctor's appointment, then by the time I got back to the hotel to pick up my bags and head back to Ba Ria, Susan and Uncle Howard had decided to go with us, had packed themselves up within an hour, and were ready to go!

We dropped Molly off a couple of hours later, then our driver, Quoc, found me a nice hotel in Ba Ria, to be close to Molly. Susan, Quan and Uncle Howard continued on to Vung Tau, where I was supposed to join them the following week. The expectation was that Molly would have to be back for 4 - 5 days, in which time the police would visit the orphanage to do their report, and I could have Molly back when they were done. I made arrangements to take Molly to the orphanage every morning, and take her back to the hotel with me overnight. I could continue to care for her, give her the prescriptions she needed, and try to avoid more scabies bites.

It was a good plan, but sadly, the police didn't participate as expected.