The Women Who Have Loved Molly

I have had a unique opportunity to get to know the nannies and other teachers who have raised Molly since she arrived at the orphanage. I wonder about these women. Who cares for their children when they are caring for ours? The nannies shifts are 24 hours, one day on, one day off, and I never saw a variation for holidays or illness. There are only 4 full time nannies, two per shift, and two other women who work part-time in the baby room. Communications with these women were the usual gesturing and looking up words in the Vietnamese/English dictionary, but I think they got a kick out of having me there. Plus, I helped out a little bit and brought watermelons to share.

I learned that these women love the children they care for. I watched 6 children leave with their adoptive Canadian parents, and saw tears in the nannies' eyes. They continued to ask me about the children afterwards, knowing that I was in contact with some of the parents (who are all from Canada). The day that one little boy left, the adoption ceremony was scheduled that same morning, so his departure was sudden, and two of the nannies didn't have a chance to say goodbye. So they made arrangements to travel to Ho Chi Minh City where he was staying to visit and say goodbye. I saw love in their care of the children everyday.

Khuyen

I got to know Khuyen a little bit - she invited us to her home one afternoon. She lives in a lovely house with land around it where she raises orchids and has fruit trees. She has two daughters, and her mother lives next door. It seems like she has worked at that job for many years - she has pictures of adoptive families on her coffee table with older children she said she raised. She gets to work by motorcycle, which is pretty common there, and took Molly and I home to our hotel many times on the back of her bike. She showed me that I could toilet train Molly by taking holding her under the thighs over a toilet, and hissing. Molly pees when you do that. One day she even shocked me by pooping! Thank-you Khuyen.

Hanh

Hanh was the women holding Molly in her proposal pictures. I was really happy to meet her. Hanh lives at the orphanage, and does other work on the days she is not in the baby room. Hanh is gentle and patient. She often waved me away from a crying, struggling Molly, and sung lullabies while rocking the crib, and put Molly to sleep for her naps during the day. Hanh would bring me lunch and make sure I got a nap when Molly was sleeping. She often surprised me with her knowledge of English. One day she gave me a dress for Molly and told me it was a 'souvenir'. Who would know that word? She always told me I was 'Mother', and I told her Molly had many mothers, including her. She also said one day, "Never forget me".  Molly and I will always remember Hanh.

Hoang

Hoang worked the same shift as Khuyen, and the two women were lots of fun together. I really enjoyed my days with them. They often joked with each other, so there was lots of laughter and lightness on those days. She is very pretty, kind and loving.

Son

Son was the nanny that commanded the most respect from the kids, and the toddlers tended to turn to her for approval. She accepted no nonsense, but had a really soft spot that shone often with the children. She worked with Hanh, and they were a good team, as Hanh was the gentle comforting one, while Son was the diciplinarian. Son taught me the 'ropes' when I first arrived. She had no problem showing me how to help out with the children, but curiously wouldn't allow me to help hang or fold laundry. She arrived for work on a bicycle, and would bring me bananas. She was very curious about me - she inspected my white skin, and poked at a blood blister I have on my leg. I tried to hug her once, but it felt a litle awkward.

Hieu

Hieu is a very pretty younger woman that came into the baby room for a few hours in the afternoon during nap time. I really don't know much about her, but could see that she was very loving and gentle. She brought snacks that she shared with us, and would go out to get a watermelon if I didn't already have one. She would nap at the end of her shift - generally with a child tucked beside her.

Van

Van also lived at the orphanage, and I generally saw her cleaning and gardening. She would come into the baby room for short periods of time to help out. She gave me a lecture in the beginning about holding Molly too much. She chattered on in Vietnamese, which I couldn't understand, but I got the message. However, I wasn't too offended - I think she was right.

Thuy

Thuy said her title at the orphanage was a teacher, but it seemed to me that she ran the place. She became my best friend there. She made lots of effort to communicate with me in English, and took very good care of me and Molly both. Molly loved her! I could have resented Thuy for the way Molly would dump me and whine until Thuy picked her up, every single time she showed up, but I loved Thuy about as much. She would show up at my hotel in the evenings with food, knowing I couldn't get out for dinner. She took us to her home, and to Long Hai beach (another posting) one weekend on the back of her motorbike. She would bring in food to the orphanage for breakfast and sometimes lunch for me. She visited the baby room often, and clipped Molly's nails for me. She taught me a lot of Vietnamese. She is lovely and kind and will always be a friend.

Canh

Canh is another teacher at the orphanage. She is a really pleasant and kind woman who always had a smile for us. She also brought me bananas from her tree, and was often part of the conversation in the afternoon 'Vietnamese lessons'. Canh and Thuy showed up at my hotel room one evening on a day that I was sick. I guess they thought they would help me out for the evening with Molly. However, they found that my symptoms were mild, and I had just bathed and dressed Molly in her pajamas. So instead, they suggested we all go out for a bowl of Pho soup! So off we went - Molly and I on the back of Thuy's motorbike, down this narrow street that I would have thought was a back alley. They took me to an outdoor cantina-style Pho house that was jumping with activity. Thuy and Canh held Molly while I ate, and they wouldn't let me pay the bill. I have pictures of Molly in her pajamas at the restaurant with the two of them. Its a great story to tell her when she's older.